From Nathan Axson's CaringBridge site this week. Nathan is NED. He has, however, been in the hospital for almost two weeks having some terrible difficulties with gall bladder blockage. While the docs don't think he has relapsed with NB, it is in the back - maybe front - of his mom's mind.
Uncertainty is so scary. But I guess not as scary as a confirmed relapse. I believe that it is something else. But I can't lie, I have to prepare for the worst.
I guess this is my new normal. Bouts of happiness interrupted by times of helpless, numbing fear.
I know that sounds depressing..but I am in a cold and dark hospital room, too far from my family. The love of my life sleeps next to me..blissfully ignorant, while I drive myself insane in front of this computer, searching for answers...wishing I hadn't learned so much.